Suck up’s or self monitors?

I often think about suck up’s in the office. I find these folks ridiculous.  It is my belief that one moves forward professionally based on skills and talents, not on how much you can butter people, hang on their every day, agree with everything they say, and basically do their job for them. Boot lickers. Suck ups. Brown nosers. Whatever you want to call them, I abhor it.  And I am not capable of doing it.

However, an article in Bloomberg’s Business Week in June discussed the concept of high self monitors, or those persons who are adaptable to social systems. They even used the word chameleon.  To me, suck ups to adapt to each person, but I do not think they refer to the same thing.   High self-monitors adapt to fit the situation. They are still themselves, but more understanding of the behaviors, attitudes, personalities, linguistic level, etc.  The key, again, is they are still themselves, not a mini me of the person they are with. One experiment they discuss is a person shaking her leg and without realizing it, high self monitors will begin to do the same.

There are some that are natural self-monitors.  The article indicated Bill Clinton and Oprah.  I will let you be the judge if you agree or agree not.  At times, I have considered myself this way. I have learned how to get along with just about anyone due to all the moving I did growing up. I never thought moving around was beneficial at the time, but as I have gotten older, I have seen how this knowledge became a part of me that I never knew existed.  I have worked with many companies and have been told on more than one occasion that it has felt like I have been a part of the team forever and not just started working there a few months ago.  Why is this?

The article goes on to say that there are ways those that are not naturally high self-monitors can learn this.  First, be vulnerable. This, as you know from many prior posts, is the key to leadership but also to life in my opinion.  In this case, just sharing a treasured memory can be seen as vulnerability because it has great meaning to you and you have allowed another to share in this.  Sure beats talk about the weather.  Another option is proximity. If your office is in the corner, by the windows because you liked the view, consider the disadvantage you have in not being more in the thick of things with others on your team.  How do you create more connection when you are away from them like that?  And lastly, if you know of someone who you see as a high self-monitor, spend a bit more time with them.  What they do can be contagious!

Suck up’s take note – being a mini-me will only get you so far.

Respected? Feared? Hated? Loved?

Here is a quote from an article on INC.com called, How to Keep Your Workers Happy:

Many people actually say cleaning the house is more enjoyable than sitting in the same room with their boss.

Of course, the feared/hated boss has NO awareness to know or feel this.  Respected and loved managers? They actually want to do well by their team and want to do a good job in their role.

My experience so far: there are too many jerks, assholes and unaware managers than anyone wants to admit.  I look forward to Robert Sutton’s latest book,  Good Boss-Bad Boss: How to be the Best.. and learn from the worst. His other book, the No-Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving one that isn’t was awesome.

My job is to hold the umbrella so the shit from above doesn’t hit you. Your job is to keep me from having to use it.

The title quote is from Bob Sutton’s Work Matters site.  The below is reprinted in its entirety.  Oh to have a boss that actually deflected the shit so it didn’t continue to roll downhill (when the person doesn’t warrant it).

This quote comes from a boss named “gschaadt ” who wrote a comment in response to my post (with the great picture) on A Shitty View of the Pecking Order. The complete comment is

I always tell the people who work for me the same thing:

My job is to hold the umbrella so the shit from above doesn’t hit you.

Your job is to keep me from having to use it.

I think this is  brilliant because there is so much wisdom on so many levels.  First, it is really funny, especially when paired with the picture in the post.  Second, there is deep wisdom there about the relationship between a good boss and good followers — these are mutually supportive relationships, not one way. Even the best boss can’t do everything.  This boss –”gschaadt “– is more than willing to go to bat for his people.   But the implication for him or any other boss is, if people keep creating conditions where he or she constantly has to protect them, say, from superiors that they piss-off because they do shoddy work or break too many rules or anything else– a point comes where the difficult employee ends-up undermining the boss’s reputation, the reputation of his or her team, and ultimately hurting everyone involved.

This especially struck me because, as I said in my last post, I am working on an HBR article on how good bosses serve as a human shield, protecting their people in all sorts of ways, but there comes a point where a follower has messed-up so much that smart bosses don’t open the umbrella to protect that one troublesome person because, otherwise, he or she –and the rest of the team — will all get in such deep shit that they will never be able to dig out.  At the same time, walking this line isn’t easy because some of the most creative and productive people are also sometimes the most difficult, weird, or annoying.

This is yet another example of why the best bosses realize they are always doing a balancing act.  It reminds me of Marc Hershon (co-author of I Hate People and also the guy who named the Blackberry and the Swiffer) and what he said after reading some early chapters of Good Boss, Bad Boss. Marc suggeste another name for the book could be “Top Dog on a Tightrope.”

The Best Bosses Are The Most Self-Aware: More Evidence

This is reprinted in its entirety from Bob Sutton’s Work Matters site.  His prior book, The No Asshole Rule was outstanding and felt it nailed things well. His upcoming book Good Boss, Bad Boss is very anticipated by this author.

Good Boss, Bad Boss delves into many different hallmarks of great (and awful) bosses.  But when people ask me what the central idea is, I say that the good ones are self-aware and the bad ones live in a fool’s paradise (See this recent post at HBR for more discussion of this point)– the good ones know what it feels like to work for them, are aware of their weaknesses, and constantly make little adjustments in response to the moods and moves of the people around them, while the bad ones are remarkably clueless (a huge hazard of being a human-being, check the new book The Invisible Gorilla if you want evidence of how overconfident and clueless most of us are most of the time).

As such, I was interested to see a press release yesterday of a long-term study done a consulting firm called Green Peak Partners of 72 executives. Here is the summary, which they call “When it Comes to Business Leadership, Nice Guys Finish First.” I was pleased to see their findings that “bully traits” and poor interpersonal skills where hallmarks of bad leaders, given that it provides more fodder for The No Asshole Rule. But I was even more interested to see their finding that:

Leadership searches give short shrift to “self-awareness,” which should actually be a top criterion. A high self-awareness score was the strongest predictor of overall success. “Executives who are aware of their weaknesses are often better able to hire subordinates who perform well in areas in which the leader lacks acumen.”

This is not the first study to make this point, but it is interesting to see how the drumbeat for self-awareness and how tough it is to achieve for any human-being, especially those in power keeps getting louder.

P.S. In the name of evidence-based management, I should point-out that the description in the press release makes it pretty hard to tell what they did in this study, as they don’t provide much information about the sample (I think it is a non-random sample of 72 folks), about how they measured performance (I couldn’t always tell if they were talking about executive performance or organizational performance or both), or the nature of the instruments they used to measure the predictors like interpersonal skills and such.  Sometimes consulting firms develop proprietary methods and won’t tell you about it — that is what I like about academic research, you have to show this stuff or it does not get published.  Also, never forget confirmation bias, that we all see what we want to see — and I like the findings of this research, it supports my book, so the flaws may bother me less because it supports my perspective.

QUIT YELLING

This was reprinted below in its entirely by Mike Myatt, Chief Strategy Officer, N2growth, who originally titled it: Leadership & Emotional Control

If the above photo resembles a typical leadership meeting at your place of work then you may want to read this post. FACT: Leaders who lack emotional control won’t remain in a position of leadership for long. There has been no shortage of information published on the topic of Emotional IQ or what’s referred to as EQ in recent years. After all, being in touch with your emotions, as well as being in tune with the emotions of others is an important trait for any leader to possess. However I believe the more important emotional trait for CEOs and entrepreneurs to gain mastery over is what I call EC or emotional control. In today’s post I’ll discuss the value of gaining control over your emotions…

Business can be tough, and the outcomes of certain events or decisions often seem far from fair…Just when you’re sailing along with the perception that all is well, you can be hit out of left field with a situation or circumstance that can bring even the most sophisticated CEO to their knees. Even if you don’t find yourself having to frequently deal with extreme situations, it is often nothing more than normal dealings in the ordinary course of business that can place you at a nexus…Do you make your decision based upon the facts at hand and sound decisioning metrics, or do you let your emotions drive your decisions?

Over the years I have observed countless examples of people who jeopardize their future to satisfy an emotional need, when what they should have done was protect their future by exhibiting control over their emotions. I have witnessed otherwise savvy executives place the need for emotional security and superiority ahead of achieving their mission (not that they always understood this at the time). Case in point…have you ever witnessed an employee throw a fit of rage and resign their position in the heat of the moment? If you have, what you really watched was a person indulging their emotions rather than protecting their future.

The message here while a basic one, is nonetheless mission critical for leaders…Keep your wits about you and never let them see you sweat. Emotional outbursts, rants, and rages will rarely do anything but cause you to make poor decisions and to lose credibility. There’s an old saying that goes: “When you lose your temper, you lose.” I believe that with a loss of your temper you can lose your credibility, your influence, and your ultimately your ability to lead. It shouldn’t go without note that perhaps more important that “what” you lose is “who” you can lose when you don’t maintian emotional control. Regardless of what might be tugging at your emotional strings, leaders need to remain calm while assessing the situation at hand. Make decisions based upon the big picture, and never based upon heat of the moment emotions.

I have only raised my voice in the workplace twice during my career and both times I have regretted it tremendously. The reality is that whether you’re right or wrong isn’t at issue when you lose emotional control because people won’t remember anything other than the fact you blew your top. Great CEOs lead by example…they set the tone for others in the organization by demonstrating proactive, rational, logical and balanced thinking as opposed reactionary emotional thinking. Resist the temptation to give way to emotional decisioning and you’ll see your career and company soar to new heights of success.

Leaders of Today … Tomorrow

When you look at your organization and see the leaders around you, as well as look within, what do you see?  Do you believe these leaders to be leaders? Do you have your own beliefs of what makes a good a leader? Do you even meet them?

I am a big fan of the Center for Creative Leadership as I learned much about them having lived in North Carolina and seeing how they impacted leaders who worked with them. I always wanted to go and would love to work for them one day.  They asked a great question of 2,200 leaders from 15 organizations, in three countries between 2006 and 2008 – do the leaders within your organization have the skills they need to be successful in the future?-

This is what they found. The 7 leadership skills that are most critical for success, now and in the future, are:

1. Leading people: directing and motivating people.
2. Strategic planning: translating vision into realistic business strategies, including long-term objectives.
3. Managing change: using effective strategies to facilitate organizational change.
4. Inspiring commitment: recognizing and rewarding employees’ achievements.
5. Resourcefulness: working effectively with top management.
6. Doing whatever it takes: persevering under adverse conditions.
7. Being a quick learner: quickly learning new technical or business knowledge.

Interestingly, they go on to say that some organizations reported greater strength in these areas but weren’t seen as important as the 7 above:

• building and mending relationships,
• compassion and sensitivity,
• cultural adaptability,
• respecting individual differences,
• composure,
• and self-awareness.

Again, I disagree. I think the bottom 5 are more important than the top 7. Why? Because the top 7 can be coached, learned, developed.

The bottom 5 are harder to coach and develop. I say this because it requires one to look within, to have humility, to be vulnerable, and to admit imperfection.  Most leaders do not take the time to reflect, learn from their relational mistakes and try to use that learning to do better. Actually most don’t want to.  What often happens is ego gets in the way and a leader believes it is the other person’s issue; never their own. But let’s face it, when there are issues in an organization, they are often relational. Conflicts arise and they become personal. Coalitions develop. Stonewalling occurs. Contempt starts to breed. Seems to me you would be left with individuals instead of teams.   Leadership is about having a vision and inspiring people to commit.  Therefore, to me, leadership is about people. If you are not committed to the people in your organization, how are you accomplishing your goals?

The bonus of motivation

I was reading the latest issue of Business Week last night and read the following from Joe Torre, the Dodgers manager, about his decision to leave the Yankees.  I think we often wonder the real reasons why people do things and in the sporting and celebrity world, the assumption is often money.  However, this case, it was quite what one might think.

“I was offered a very nice contract from the Yankees [after the 2007] season but it was a reduction in pay. I could get the money back if we won this, that, and the other thing. I was insulted that they thought I needed to be motivated financially to go out there and do a better job. That’s when I walked away”.

This kind of motivation, dangling a financial carrot, does not seem to work for him. And I don’t see how it would for anyone, or at least not for long.  Oh wait, this is exactly the kind of carrot that is dangled in front of CEO’s. If the stock price rises, you get a bigger bonus.  Hmm, at what cost do some CEO’s make unethical decisions based on an individual decision to increase their bottom line without regard for everyone else?  How many pensions of an ordinary person no different from myself, have been wiped out by greedy executives?

Shouldn’t the motivation be more about effectiveness? Bringing value to the world? Creating quality product or providing a valuable service?  This is based on people. Not a person at the top (or persons), but people.  There is a reason there are 150,000 employees at Bank of America or Lockheed Martin (an old estimate I’m sure).   I am only one but I wish a bonus to be reflective of the value I have brought, not how I manipulated the system so that we looked good. I want my organization to actually be good.  I wonder, can some of the executives and those big dogs on Wall Street truly say they have been good? I am sure there are many taxpayers who would disagree.

How do you connect?

Do you connect with people? When you are talking to someone, are you really listening to that person? Or do you instead scan the room – constantly?  Do you listen with half an ear or are really present in the conversation? Do you ask questions that lead with curiosity or are you waiting for your turn to talk?  Do you add value or just stand there thinking about other things you would rather be doing?

In short, are you connecting when you are conversing?

John Maxwell has a new book out called Everyone Communicates, Few Connect. Now, first, I don’t agree. I don’t think everyone communicates. I think everyone believes they do, but they do not.  But I will let it slide, since it’s just my opinion.  But I do agree that those that communicate, there isn’t always connection or relational development.  I think this is hugely important. There are many books that address this insular state of being (Bowling Alone is one such book) that continues to increase. I do think we depend on technological tools more than we used to, but as I’ve said before, some of those tools increase the connectivity we have instead of reducing it.

I moved around so much when I was younger, to write letters was a challenge for connectivity. We moved from Greenwood, Indiana to South Bend, Indiana to Harrisonburg, Virginia, within 3 years (thankfully during each summer). Cell phones and email were not there and long distance was expensive.  To maintain close ties to your friends by letter was possible, but let me tell you, if you moved like this, the challenge increased.  Now? I can talk to my friends in Pittsburgh, Harrisonburg, Raleigh, Charlotte, Atlanta, Columbia, San Diego, Bloomington, Chicago, etc. by so many means imaginable, being connected is no longer an issue.

Yes, I am a relator per Gallup’s StrengthsFinder themes. A positivist too.  So connecting with others, building relationships, is my natural state of being. But I think we can all be like this  by just being present when we are with others, giving them your full attention, and being curious.   How do you connect with others?

Leaders and Leadership Part II

What do I believe in besides vulnerability? Love, positivity and fun.  I know, you think this to be all whoooy-balooey.  Froo froo stuff. Too soft.  Well I disagree, and some of the largest companies agree with me.

Who you are cannot be segregated by personal vs. professional. You are a whole person who brings the whole you to work and to home.  Therefore, it is my belief that having a heart in the workplace is important. If you want to read more about this, check Kouzes and Posner’s The Leadership Challenge or Encouraging the Heart. Excellent books by leading authors in the leadership field. I have talked of this before but showing that you care, that you appreciate, and value another person is not soft. It is a valuable trait that makes an incredible difference in the workplace. Ask Herb Kelleher of Southwest Airlines.

Positivity and fun go hand in hand in my opinion. As a leader, you must reflect positivity in the workplace. Don’t let shit roll downhill. Don’t emulate the climate of those above you. Create the environment you want for your group and support each person.  Keep everyone moving forward, allowing for mistakes the associated learning that comes with, and create an atmosphere of joy.  At the same time,  bring fun in and laugh, make jokes, have fun. This is a great boost to productivity, creativity and overall desire to do work.  Ask Tony Hsieh of Zappos.com who has a new book out about this very thing, Delivering Happiness: A Path to Profits, Passion, and Purpose.

This does not mean you don’t have to be a tough boss, who expects a lot and challenges others.  You can do all of this.

The greatest compliment I received today was from a friend and former coworker. It was out of the blue, but she told me that I was the best boss she had ever had, that I challenged her more than anyone but I also believed in her fully.  It almost made me cry. That was 4 years ago and she mentioned that she hadn’t had a good boss since.  This is the true measure of how I am doing – what others believe of me as a leader.

Leaders and Leadership Part I

I believe we all evolve as leaders.  Wait, that is not completely true. There are some truly bad leaders out there that remain bad and only get worse. But that is still evolution just not the way I think it should go.  Yuppers, lots of Anissa opinion going to be infused in this post so be ready.  I have been watching idly by lately and have had enough.  Between government, big business  (I really wish BP would read the below), and even locally within the state, I am tired of ineffective leaders.

First, I don’t believe leadership is a title.  Just because you have one doesn’t mean anything to me unless you believe your title has magic and you use that power to threaten, rule by fear, coerce, or otherwise, put down the rest of us little people you believe us to be.  Your leading by your title does not create respect or trust.  For those of you who do this, think about that for a second.  Does your team respect you? Trust you? Want to make you look good?  If you don’t outright say yes immediately and know it to be true, you aren’t a leader in my eyes.

Second, I think we are all leaders.  This may be in government, school, work, church, your neighborhood, your high school, your professional organization, etc.  At any time, we are all leaders and we are all followers. If you remember this, a leader can be more compassionate instead of power hungry.  A leader understands that they do not exist without followers.  That a true leader is a servant to others (hence servant leadership). Do those in your department, group or team believe in your vision (if you have one & you have shared it – big assumption on my part) and help you achieve it?  If you are leading the charge and there is no one, or few, behind you, you aren’t a leader in my eyes.

Third, leaders know their team.  They know each person, what they do, their strengths, their motivations, and where they want to go.  As a leader, can you say this? If you can’t, then you better sit down and take the time.  And this does not mean once a year during the performance review (which I find ridiculous – these conversations  should be ongoing and regularly occurring throughout the year).  Leading is about people not tasks, not sitting in committee meetings, not sitting in your own office all day long. As an extension, does your team actively stop by your office/desk to talk to you, not just about work but about random things? If no one, or few, do this, you aren’t a leader in my eyes.

Fourth, leaders don’t play favorites. If you make the effort to only get to know a few really well, only give these people the extra opportunities, only take them to lunch, only take the time to laugh with them and show your human side, you are especially not a leader in my eyes. We might as well be back in high school.

Fifth, leaders talk.  I don’t mean communicate, I mean talk.  What are your plans for the department, group or team? What are you trying to accomplish now? What is happening in the organization? This should be regularly and consistently shared. We should hear more from you, all the time. Believe me, a chief complaint is that communication sucks in any organization – so what are you waiting for?  And if you complain that there is too much water cooler talk, this is YOUR fault.  In the face of ambiguity or lack of communication from YOU, there is no information being shared.  People will band together, support each other and share the small tidbits they pick up and try to cobble together what is happening. You aren’t a leader in my eyes if you believe that it is your team’s fault for the acting this way. You need to look within.

Sixth, leaders create the climate.  If you think the climate in your department, group or team isn’t supportive, is negative, tense, and people are constantly calling sick because of stress, YOU created this and YOU must fix it. A leader knows and if you don’t, you aren’t a leader in my eyes.

Seventh, leaders are reflective learners. Do you take the time to think about who you are as a leader? Where you have been and where you want to go? I am not talking about titles or roles.  I am talking about your style. Do you know what it is?  Do you know its impact on others? Do you readily know areas you need to enhance or are your blind spots? Do you know the behaviors that grate on others (the do as I say, not as I do variety). Do you take the time to read about other leaders and think about those aspects relative to yourself?  Or, do you think yourself impervious, superior, perfect, and in need of no leadership style change in any way?  The chief leadership trait that is more important than any other is vulnerability, in my opinion. I look for this in leaders and believe this is THE trait that epitomizes leaders. If you can be vulnerable, admit your mistakes, show that you need the expertise of others, that you don’t know everything, then your courage, your integrity, and your humanity shine through.  Are you vulnerable in any way? If you aren’t, then you aren’t a leader in my eyes.

Eight, leaders aren’t paranoid. If you are, then you need to look inside and figure out why.  Hire a coach, go to a therapist, seek out a mentor. But the problem is yours, not your department, group or team. And if you believe it is, then you need to get everyone together and LISTEN.  Ask the question about how they feel things are going and how you are doing as a leader, and then sit back and listen. The only thing you do is take notes and if you must talk, say thank you for the feedback.  Then follow back with everyone on the areas you are going to work on and ask them to be your monitor so they can congratulate you when you make strides (no matter how small). All of this takes vulnerability. Do you have it?  If you aren’t willing to do something about your paranoia, then you aren’t a leader in my eyes.

Ninth, leaders know how to have healthy conflict.  If you have surrounded yourself by people who kiss your ass & do whatever you want, and are basically mini versions of you, then you aren’t a leader in my eyes.  Leaders know that this isn’t leadership at all. This is just hero-worship and those persons kissing your ass hope you will help them with their own careers, giving them extra perks along the way.  Bobble-heads do you no good.  If everyone has given up and stopped sparring about issues, just letting you make decisions unilaterally, you aren’t a leader, you are a dictator.  Healthy conflict is a good thing. You, the team and the organization gain so much more from this. But if you fear conflict, again, you need to look at some of the advice in Eight above.

Tenth, if you have felt that any of this has been written about you dear reader, then you need to look within now at those areas above that pissed you off..  Those are the areas that you know, deep down under all those protective layers, are the real leadership issues that you need to tackle. So go tackle them. And don’t think about this once, today. Think about this often and regularly and start DOING something to change. It is the only true way you can be a leader now and forever.

Hello world!

I welcome you to my blog. I am slowly migrating my blog from my website of three years. Technology via WordPress is too fantastic to pass up any longer.  From time to time, I will post information tidbits, quotes, thoughts, and miscellaneous things here. Please feel free to comment, share, or suggest. I am very open to hearing from you!

I love to read. It is one of my greatest joys.   I absolutely love escaping into a good book and can even forget to eat or resist going to sleep if I’m really involved!  I love mysteries, fiction, but I also love reading certain non-fiction subjects.  I am deeply interested in all things leadership and read all related to personality, positivity, strengths and talents. So many authors has a unique voice that speaks directly to you and really makes the concepts easy to understand, consider and in some cases, validate your current style.

But the book I am highly recommend right now is Thomas L. Friedman’s The World is Flat.  His voice, his research, is style of writing, his threading of ideas – all amazed me and kept me fascinated from the first page to the last. And this is my second read through! If you don’t think the world is flat or don’t know what that means, I truly encourage you to pick up this book.  I was very aware of how the world had been changing, but didn’t understand as much as I did until  he and many others framed it.  It really made me consider my own future from a whole new vantage point.

Lest you think this is the only type of book I read, you would be mistaken. I just finished Jonathan Kellerman’s latest but am also counting the days to Dan Brown’s newest! I am not a book critic and quite frankly, for books like this, I am looking purely for the enjoyment factor. I have also just started reading James Patterson’s latest.  I’ll let you know what I think!

I look forward to hearing from you and what you think, or reading, but mainly, what you are doing!

Anissa

Are you a VIP?

I hope that you read that question and answered yes!  When I think of a professional, I think of a Very Important Person.   Within any organization, I truly believe that each employee is the most important aspect of the business.  I know, I know, it begs the question about CEO pay and compensation structures, but that’s for another day.  The CEO may be the visionary, the leader, the commander of the ship, but he alone cannot make an organization sustainable. Without the many employees doing the work, creating the product, servicing the customer, managing the vendors, there would be no organization to helm.

Unquestionably, my strength is working with staff, supervisors, managers and senior management to recognize their skills, to clarify their vision, to take charge of their inaction, to  determine what they want and then get it.   By coaching one person, that person will in turn positively affect another and another.  I truly believe in “human performance forward” and that by working independently with each person and understanding how to uniquely engage, motivate, and guide, you will inspire the person to greater professional depths.  Something to think about!

Let me know what you think!

Anissa

No Jerks Allowed?

We would all love to be blessed with a great boss. One who cares about our career, recognizes our accomplishments, has strategic vision, is a great communicator and has integrity.  As you read that, were you wishing it also?

In my former life, I had the misfortune of working for the most domineering, controlling, insensitive, corrupt, petty, immature, unstable, and unprofessional bosses I had ever had experienced in all of my professional life. That she was a female made it all the worse.  I am not sure how many of you have heard of the book, The No Asshole Rule, by Robert Sutton, PhD. I absolutely recommend it and encourage you to read it, check out his blog, and if need be, send the quiz to those that need to have their eyes opened about themselves.

I related well to the many stories of bad bosses and the wreckage they can cause. I took the steps that I could within myself to manage the situation, as I knew that changing her was not an option. However, sometimes that can be an option. If you find yourself in a related situation, Sutton’s book has some great strategies to consider.  Or you can consult with me and we can work together.

If anyone else has a story to share about a bad boss situation, I would love to hear it!

Anissa

Acknowledgment is a powerful gift

I was reading an article recently that mentioned the value of having a mentor.  Professional women benefit greatly as we navigate workforce issues with family, graduate degrees or community involvement.

It is by sheer happenstance that I began working with my mentor coach, but can say that I truly appreciate her gifts and am grateful to know her.  Our relationship is beyond any expectation I could have ever imagined possible.  She is a successful entrepreneur twice over and is truly inspiring.  What I value more than anything is her absolute genuine personality, boundless energy and amazing insight.  Her beliefs in me, my abilities, and desire to help me work harder toward my desires push me to think beyond my limits, to do more than I thought possible, to be more than I dreamed I could be.  Yes, I am gushing a bit.

If you have a special mentor/coach relationship with a person who truly has your best interests at heart and wants more for you than you can even begin to want for yourself, you too will gush.   The path my life has taken over the past two years could not have existed without her being on the path alongside me.   To CC:  you are the best!  I love how you “get” me and how our relationship continues to grow stronger!  I will never be able to say Thank You enough.

I hope each of you has a mentor/coach in your life. The value of the right person walking alongside of you, supporting, challenging, and encouraging your goals and desires is a relationship that brings immeasurable value to both!

Anissa

The Value of Positivity

I have long been a believer of positivity. It’s a word that many use but does not exist in the dictionary. Yet.  In the past 10 years, the field of positive psychology has grown exponentially; as has the role of appreciative inquiry in the field of organizational development.  I love this and am very intrigued by the expanding research, centers, and academic leaders.  For me, it’s wonderful validation for the management philosophy that I have been ascribing to for years in the workplace, even as far back as my undergraduate days twenty years ago.

When I first started out managing in my sophomore year of college, I always felt it best to work from a positive vantage point with my team.  I didn’t shy away from feedback (as most do) but would position the feedback in a constructive manner and if possible, in such a way as to seem almost positive so they could hear it, absorb it, and then apply it.  I have continued to hone and develop my positivity style as I have grown professionally. I still feel it is of the utmost importance to give feedback as close to the moment as possible, both constructive and positive.  So strong is my belief that feedback is the greatest gift, I wrote my master’s thesis on its value in the workplace.  I place just as much importance on giving (and receiving) valuable positive feedback and believe if it’s warranted, you can’t possibly give enough positive recognition or praise.  If you think you can give too much, my guess is you are holding back and aren’t giving enough.  I know that when I get well-timed piece of positive feedback, it is like a power bar to my soul.  It can feed me for months. J

The best feedback I ever got, that still resonates with me almost six years later, was when an individual told me “you always make me feel so good about my ability and potential, even when I know I need to improve, you do it without making me feel bad about myself. I don’t know how you do it, but I always work stronger after being with you.”  It is forever tattooed on my brain.  I absolutely think you can develop, coach, encourage, and grow anyone toward their goals, their aspirations, and their dreams with the power of positivity.

Do you have positivity power in your life? Let me know! Anissa

The Essential Motivation Handbook – a must have

I don’t know how many of you out there are zen habits readers, but it’s an awesome blog. The author, Leo Babauta, is a bloggerX2 and a now a novelistx2.  His blog, the aforementioned zen habits, is hugely popular and sprung forth a book, The Power of Less.  He had also previously written an ebook, Zen To Done: The Ultimate Simple Productivity System, that was touted as the most successful productivity ebook sold in history. I have no idea if that is true or not, but that was said at the time!

He has written another book co-authored with  Eric Hamm called The Essential Motivation Handbook. He calls it a companion to his Zen to Done ebook.  If it is anything like it or the Power of Less book, this one will be a winner as well. I am devouring it now so stay tuned!! If you are interested in purchasing, check it out:    Click here to view more details

And for those of you who wondered, hey she said he was a bloggerx2, don’t forget to check out write to done. He shares some awesome writing tips, not just for bloggers, but for all writers.  Check it out!

Caring is at the heart of leadership

This a  really profound statement made by Kouzes and Posner in their book The Leadership Challenge – ‘caring is at the heart of leadership’.  It is a truly remarkable book and has a great gift of synthesizing various leadership topics for ease of understanding and application.   I love this statement and find it to have great meaning for me.  When I think of the leaders I admire or leaders I have respected throughout my career, this is the one factor that differentiates each from those that I didn’t see as valuable to me.  Leaders who are caring strive to consider the person, which creates an enhanced relationship toward growth and achievement.  I have truly grown, more than I may have believed I could, under the caring hands of a great leader.

And yes, I truly believe that a leader must cultivate and develop relationships with their team.  All the talk of not fraternizing with your co-workers seems so counter-productive to me.  We spend no less than forty hours a week with co-workers; how could one not develop friendships or different forms of relationships? When we meet someone and spend time together, we learn personal details about each other and become more invested in the person.  We learn what motivates them, what their interests are, what captures their heart, what makes them tick, what their frustrations are, their moods, their quirks, their uniquely identifying personality traits.

I am sure you can see this in your own life and how you will really strive to help your friend who is moving across town, but would not think to do that with the neighbor you barely know or have rarely spoken to.    If you love this book as much as I have, there is a follow-up that dedicates more research to the concept, Encourage the Heart, and is just as amazing.

Let me know what you think! Anissa

Beware of Garbage Trucks

I would like to share this compliments of the author, David J. Pollay.  It is an amazing column that bears sharing and repeating! I hope you enjoy it as much as I do, Anissa

Beware of Garbage Trucks™ by David J. Pollay
How often do you let other people’s nonsense change your mood?  Do you let a bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive employee ruin your day?  Unless you’re the Terminator, you’re probably set back on your heels.  However, the mark of your success is how quickly you can refocus on what’s important in your life.

Sixteen years ago I learned this lesson.  And I learned it in the back of a New York City taxi cab. Here’s what happened.

I hopped in a taxi, and we took off for Grand Central Station.  We were driving in the right lane when all of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us.  My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, the car skidded, the tires squealed, and at the very last moment our car stopped just one inch from the other car’s back-end.

I couldn’t believe it.  But then I couldn’t believe what happened next.  The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started yelling bad words at us.  How do I know?  Ask any New Yorker, some words in New York come with a special face.  And for emphasis, he threw in a one finger salute, as if his words were not enough.

But then here’s what really blew me away.  My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy.  And I mean, he was friendly.  So, I said, “Why did you just do that!?  This guy could have killed us!”  And this is when my taxi driver told me what I now call, “The Law of the Garbage Truck™.”  He said:

Many people are like garbage trucks.  They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment.  As their garbage piles up, they look for a place to dump it.  And if you let them, they’ll dump it on you.

So when someone wants to dump on you, don’t take it personally.  Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on.  Believe me.  You’ll be happier.

So I started thinking, how often do I let Garbage Trucks run right over me?  And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the street?  It was then that I said, “I don’t want their garbage and I’m not going to spread it anymore.” 

I began to see Garbage Trucks.  Like in the movie “The Sixth Sense,” the little boy said, “I see Dead People.”  Well now “I see Garbage Trucks.”  I see the load they’re carrying.  I see them coming to dump it.  And like my taxi driver, I don’t take it personally; I just smile, wave, wish them well, and I move on.

One of my favorite football players of all time is Walter Payton.  Every day on the football field, after being tackled, he would jump up as quickly as he hit the ground.  He never dwelled on a hit.  Payton was ready to make the next play his best.  Over the years the best players from around the world in every sport have played this way:  Tiger Woods, Nadia Comaneci, Muhammad Ali, Bjorn Borg, Chris Evert, Michael Jordan, and Pele are just some of those players.  And the most inspiring leaders have lived this way:  Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa, Gandhi, and Martin Luther King.

See, Roy Baumeister, a psychology researcher from Florida State University, found in his extensive research that you remember bad things more often than good things in your life.  You store the bad memories more easily, and you recall them more frequently.

So the odds are against you when a Garbage Truck comes your way.  But when you follow The Law of the Garbage Truck™, you take back control of your life.  You make room for the good by letting go of the bad.

The best leaders know that they have to be ready for their next meeting.  The best sales people know that they have to be ready for their next client.  And the best parents know that they have to be ready to welcome their children home from school with hugs and kisses, no matter how many garbage trucks they might have faced that day.  All of us know that we have to be fully present, and at our best for the people we care about.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let Garbage Trucks take over their lives.

What about you?  What would happen in your life, starting today, if you let more garbage trucks pass you by?

Here’s my bet:  You’ll be happier.

David J. Pollay, MAPP, is a syndicated columnist, television host, and an internationally sought after speaker and seminar leader.  David is the founder and president of The Momentum Project, a strengths-based training and consulting organization.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way …

… to learning about my strengths. I learned that I have more courage than I believed.  I also learned that if there is a choice between being true to myself or going along with the masses, I choose me.

Do you know how you will react in tough situations?  Would you be a whistle blower like Sherron Watkins, who boldly gave Enron an opportunity to stop the shenanigans?  Would you be a Norma Rae? Or would you live a life of quiet desperation?

I had that choice within an organization at one point in few years past.  I enjoyed many of the people I met, feeling the beginnings of a great number of friendships.  I felt like my natural management and coaching ability would be able to truly benefit those I worked with and for.  But there was one person who failed to try to connect with me, who failed to share his vision, who failed to get to know me.  My own attempts fell on deaf ears.  I chose the honest approach and asked for help, and was rebuffed.

Was I wrong to have spoken up?  I had been warned by many that one does not speak up about these things in this organization; it is taboo. I was also warned that that is who he is and that I would never get a vision or other context from him and just make it up on my own.  I was warned to lower my expectations, or better yet, remove all expectations where he was concerned.

As I look back on this situation that seems so surreal to me, I believe I made the best choices for me.  To have other employees share these warnings with me and to see the incongruity between who the person was in our first meeting to who he is as a leader, I made the right choice to speak up and ask questions. He had a choice to share his vision and who he is as a leader.  By not doing so, I will be the better for it in the long run in terms of other assignments, other jobs.

Have you ever made an unpopular professional decision but knew it was the right thing to do for yourself? I would love to hear about it! Anissa

The Dip …

I read a fine little book by Seth Godin called The Dip about two years ago.  What I enjoyed about this fine little book is that it talked about strategic quitting – knowing when what you are doing is a dead end, unproductive or ineffective – and stopping all together.

I know, I know, Vince Lombardi told us that quitters never win, and winners never quit.  But I think he was talking about those persons who knew they were in the right situation at the right time for the right reasons so they should push forth and go for it.  I don’t think it was meant for those persons who are aimlessly wandering along, working in a j-o-b, knowing that success isn’t going to happen in their current path but are too secure or comfortable to make a change when that is the very best time to do so. Why? Because change often means pain, insecurity, discomfort, and ambiguity (until you push forth and work through it, hence, the dip).

Now, the big question, for those of us who have really embraced this concept and have done so for years, does this make us unreliable, unpredictable? Or does it make us self-aware, in tune, and ahead of the curve – maybe even too far ahead?

What do you think? I’d love to hear from you! Anissa

Authenticity

As we mark the end of the first half of the year, do you find yourself thinking about the highs and the lows in anticipation of making a few resolutions for the remaining half of the year? Or rekindling the one’s made at New Years?

The one thing that resonated most with me over this past year was authenticity.  I noticed that some people are amazingly authentic no matter the situation or people they encounter.  Then there are others who are still finding their own way (but at least they are looking).

What really struck me were those persons who weren’t trying to be authentic and in fact, were playing different versions of themselves as a way to conceal, fool, or manipulate situations.  There will always be times we need to adapt ourselves to others but you can do this while remaining true to the real you.  Have you experienced this?  How did you handle it?

I would love to hear about it! Anissa

Who are you?

You may think that an odd question, but how often do you ask yourself that question and then really think about the answer? Here are some questions that seem to be floating around ‘out there’ for me:

• Do you ever wonder what carbon footprint you are leaving behind?
• What kind of leader are you?
• What will be your legacy?
• What will you be remembered for most?
• If you have regrets, why don’t you either put them behind you or make them right?
• How much should you give to charity?
• Is it really better to give than receive?
• Do nice guys or gals really finish last?

These are just a few of the many questions I think about (believe me, I have a ton more floating around in my head) from time to time. But what I like most is giving myself the time to just ponder what I think about the question related to me. Invariably, I start thinking about the world and others in it.  Next thing you know, there is a call to action for me.

What inspires you to act? I would love to know! Anissa

LeadershipNow 140: July 2009 Compilation

This is a share from LeadershipNow blog.  What a cool compilation of tweets they compiled over the course of July!  There a ton of links to some amazing articles or research.  All this talk about journalism being dead seems bunk to me.  These links shared in some of the tweets take you to some great journalistic articles and other leadership thoughts. Enjoy!

• Releasing control and sharing influence with others may be the one most difficult changes to make in your leadership style. ~JR Kerr
• RT @UtneReader: Creativity it’s surprisingly orderly, it can be learned http://bit.ly/l581L Think about problems as abstract
• Is your reluctance to follow undermining your leadership?
• Ultimately, leadership is about life.
• Grow yourself. You can’t separate yourself as a person from yourself as a leader.
• RT @davidzinger: Employee Engagement Zingers. A tad of Monday morning twitter humor to start your work. http://bit.ly/1xNbm4
• RT @SirHendrix: you are acting opportunistic because you don’t know your purpose, you don’t focus, and you have no strategy.
• Live through the unfair things, develop the hide to not let it bother you & keep your eyes focused on what you have to do. Hank Greenberg
• Identify the influencers. Work through them, not around them. Invite them, don’t inform them.
• We build who we are by building up others.
• Excellent Piece WSJ: Celebrity Culture vs. The Right Stuff
• Time to get your strategy right: It’s not just that markets have changed. Your organisation has changed. FT http://bit.ly/1YLaIt
• Time Magazine: No Charisma? Don’t Worry, You Can Still Be a Leader http://ow.ly/hJKz
• Turnaround Question: What do I want this situation to become?
• Cronkite: “A career can be called a success if one can look back and say: ‘I made a difference.’” He made a difference.
• RT @donhornsby: They Never Said That! | U.S. Presidents | Reader’s Digest http://ff.im/5kHFS
• A Farewell to Harms WSJ http://bit.ly/15UkE4
• Everyone is normal until you get to know them better. ~Manfred Kets de Vries
• Every despot must have one disloyal subject to keep him sane. ~GB Shaw
• As a leader, if you are not encouraging candid feedback, you are just asking for trouble. Do you have a court jester?
• RT @perrynoble NEVER allow the voice of those who know you the least to shape you the most!
• Ideas from under your nose: While networks of outsiders are a fashionable concept, those looking for innovation… FT: http://tinyurl.com/nwd4qf
• RT @pamslim: The big 5 mid-year game-changing questions http://bit.ly/CWcV3 Good questions to ask yourself
• Interviews with top business authors during FT Press & Wharton School Publishing Author Week http://ow.ly/haRj
• Otto Scharmer- Leader: All people who engage in creating change or shaping their future, regardless of their formal positions
• If you can’t live through adversity, you’ll never be good at what you do. ~Hank Greenberg
• Managers who act like owners: Extravagant restaurant bills and huge taxi fares might not endear you to the peopl.. http://tinyurl.com/lesxgz
• RT @Ventureneer: Leadership can be learned :: says http://bit.ly/XNQJq
• Making History > David McCullough WSJ http://tinyurl.com/kumpdg
• The Fall of the Workplace Jerk ?? WSJ http://ow.ly/gn6j

10 Powerful Questions for Getting Your Balance Back

This post is compliments of WorkStyle Design, by Ashley Acker, PhD.  I am a big fan of her site and thought this post was exceptional and worth sharing! Enjoy, Anissa

Recently Lisa Gates, a Twitter friend of mine, and I jumped on the phone and talked about life, business, and the whole notion of workplace flexibility. Lisa is a life balance specialist and coach with Craving Balance and I just love her positivity and perspective on all things related to work-life balance. I asked Lisa to share her thoughts on regaining balance and today she brings you 10 questions you can ask yourself to get your life back on track. Enjoy!

You know you’re out of balance when…

1. Your mail sits unopened for a week and you pay your bills late.
2. You think that the more plates you can spin, the more you can have it all.
3. You keep declining invitations with friends.
4. You can’t remember the last time you talked with your brother.
5. You forget appointments and blow off commitments (like working out, eating healthy).
6. You stop writing your task lists for the week and fly by the seat of your pants.
7. You haven’t synced your iPhone in weeks.
8. You don’t care if you’re not on track with your plan.
9. You can’t remember what’s in your plan.
10. You don’t answer your phone or you’re always on the phone.

Isn’t “having it all” a hamster-wheel myth borne of fear? Why not stop the bloodletting and take a look. Making quality-of-life shifts is much more sustainable when the solutions come authentically and naturally from within. We achieve that by asking questions, making inquiries, and recommitting ourselves to actions that are connected to our values.

To get yourself back on track, it’s helpful to ask yourself some powerful questions now and then. These 10 questions will bring resonance to your choices and heart to your actions:

1. What is it to be completely fulfilled in life?
2. What values, qualities of being must be present for you to have a fulfilled life?
3. How would honoring those values impact your experience of work-life balance?
4. What are you committed to? (Not goals… goals are the doings that happen inside the field of commitments.)
5. What actions give you the least joy?
6. If you were committed to an organized, energetic, juicy, fulfilling experience in your work and life, how would that change your perspective about #5?
7. What two or three actions could you take right now that would create the most impact on your well-being?
8. What three things do you do in your daily life have absolutely no relevance to work or life fulfillment?
9. What are you willing to give up?
10. When will you commit to answering all these questions?

No, really: When will you commit to answering all these questions?

About the Author

Lisa Gates is a life balance specialist and coach with Craving Balance. She is passionate about helping women set goals from the inside out, design personalized balance roadmaps, and bring rigorous and soulful accountability to their personal and professional lives.

Generational Issues

There are many books, blogs, articles, and research about generational issues in the workplace.  How different are Boomers to GenX to GenY. How to work with GenY. How GenX is the lost generation. How Boomers are so very different than everyone else.  I don’t discount that each generation is shaped by different cultural, social, environmental and economic factors.

But when it comes to the overall goals in the workplace, I think everyone wants the same things.  We all want to make a difference. We all want to have a voice. We all want to be appreciated.  We may go about it differently, but that can be said of any person, regarding anything, in the world.

Kouzes and Posner, who are my favorite leaders in leadership, and wrote The Leadership Challenge (read it if you haven’t!), are in the midst of a new book about “enduring leadership truths”. This book actually started out focused solely on GenY and after much research, they have determined that the book is about the leadership truths that exist within all generations with GenY not needing to be differentiated.  I say hallelujah.

I am sick and tired of all the ink out there about how we should work with or treat GenY in the workplace.  Let’s stop labeling and let’s start looking at each person for who they are, what they can do, and what they need.  Who I am in the workplace is not the same as my peer born a month later than me. Not all GenY are the same. Neither are Boomers.  Let’s move on and remember it is about individuals. It is each person’s unique talents and skills that make the difference.  Get to know each person for who they are and coach from a place of individuality, not stereotypes or labels.

Do you like Bobbleheads?

As a leader, do you prefer someone to agree with you or disagree?  When you are in a meeting, do you cultivate an atmosphere in which your team or those in attendance can disagree with you and debate the topic? Or do you shut down discussions by being dogmatic about your view or defending why your choice is the right one?

I have worked with enough leaders to have seen both. The leaders who believe their way is always the right way and shut down conversations to the point in which their team begins to nod along with everything he says reduces the potential for greater innovation and organizational success by not exploring other perspectives.  Those nodders, I call them bobbleheads; yes, like the toys you see where their head just bob along when you tap them.  It is not the bobbleheaders fault. They have learned that trying to engage in a dialogue with the boss is fruitless and in fact, could distinguish them as a troublemaker or worse, not a team player.

I have also worked some great leaders who encouraged discussion, often demanding it.  They would point out that complete agreement was actually a bad thing as it meant the team wasn’t thinking or being critical enough.  These leaders believe critical thought is a strength as it allows for greater depth and ability to see an issue for more than it is. Organizationally, seeing something from different angles can only be of benefit earlier rather than later.

John Baldoni advocates looking for those persons that will disagree with you as the leader and believes this is the kind of person an organization should hire, not shy away from.  I agree with him that we should hire for this characteristic but also believe we need to ensure that we have those types of leaders in the workplace. It is my assertion that we do not have enough leaders who want people on their team who will disagree with them. I also find that some organizations will consider a disagreeable employee as someone who isn’t a team player or is out only for their own personal gain, instead of seeing them for what they really are — organizationally motivated.

What kind of experiences have you had?

No truer words

I was watching a sitcom on TV about a week ago when the line spoken by the character Andrea just stopped me.  The two characters were talking about their jobs and Andrea replied “If everyone asked if they loved what they do, the economy would collapse by morning.”

No truer words have been spoken and have really stuck with me.  Out of everyone I know, am acquainted with, talk to, I can think of few persons who truly likes their job. What I hear more of is about how much they don’t like their boss, their company, their benefits, their lack of merit increases, the lack of quality or focus on the customer, etc.  Some like what they do, but it isn’t enough to sustain them beyond all the other muck they are having to wade through on a daily basis.

How true is that statement for you? Do you like what you do?  If by the chance the answer is no, why?  Is there anything in your control to change that? Have you started taking that control?

Let me know, I’d love to hear from you! Anissa

Slowing Down

A few years ago at the Seattle Special Olympics, nine contestants, all physically or mentally disabled, assembled at the starting line for the 100-yard dash.  At the gun, they all started out, not exactly in a dash, but with a relish to run the race to the finish and win.  All, that is, except one little boy who stumbled on the asphalt, tumbled over a couple of times, and began to cry.  The other eight heard the boy cry.  They slowed down and looked back.  Then they all turned around and went back. Every one of them. One girl with Down’s Syndrome bent down and kissed him and said: “This will make it better.” Then all nine linked arms and walked together to the finish line.

Everyone in the stadium stood, and the cheering went on for several minutes.  People who were there are still telling the story.

Why? Because deep down we know this one thing–what matters in this life is more than winning for ourselves.  What matters in this life is helping others win, even if it means slowing down and changing our course.

I love this story and it always energizes me to new places.

Living beyond your fears

Fear is a constant as long as you continue to grow and strive.  As soon as you recognize this, you can befriend it.  Embrace it; allow it to teach you.

We tend to fear…
- not having and not getting.
- having what is wanted and losing it.
- not being able to cope with or accept a present reality.
- not being able to cope with something in the future.
- having what we desire and not wanting it.
- not having and not wanting.
- getting what we want.

I tend to fear not having a job and not getting one…wanting a job and not getting it…getting a job I think I want and not liking it…being shamed for not having a job…getting the job I want and working harder than I would like.

But if I push through the fear, I learn more about myself, where I am headed, where I want to be.  Face your fears and own the outcome.  For then you will be able to accomplish the next thing you choose.

Have you faced something in your life lately that you’d like to share?

I’d love to hear from you! Anissa

Some of the above was adapted from Susan Jeffers Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway. An awesome book!

What motivates behavior?

When you know how to uncover values you are able to better understand behavior and develop relationships.

To really build relationships with your team, boss, partner, clients or friends, you need to understand their values. As you understand their values, you understand what drives them and motivates their behavior.

Values can be considered opinions about what is important and what is not. Values are deeply meaningful for us and they determine our behavior. They are hot buttons that provide meaning to our life. The easiest way to elicit values is to ask: “What is important to you about… ” and then listen carefully to the key words that come in response.

For example, you are interviewing a candidate and you want to know more about her; you want to know her values.  You ask: ‘What is important to you about work?’ She replies: ‘I want a challenge, something that allows me to use my skills and develop new ones, and I like working with people.’ Her answer reveals four key values and allows you to understand a lot about the role that will suit and motivate her.

Eliciting the values of those around you will make a real difference in terms of your ability to understand, inspire and build meaningful relationships. Enjoy the difference it makes! Anissa

Hugs

Have you hugged your team today?

And I don’t just mean for the person who came in mopey because of personal issues that everyone was lucky to hear about.  Or for the person who was up too late playing on Facebook and the coffee hasn’t kicked in yet.  I mean the person on your team who is making jokes, who is revving everyone up with all of their energy.  Everyone deserves a workplace hug, of any form, just as you would give a thank you, a long lunch, a day off, or just a pat on the back.

Have you hugged your team today?

Where would you be without some of the persons you work with?  If you don’t ask yourself this on occasion, you may wonder why no one wants to work with you as much as they used to.

A workplace hug goes a long way.  Try it and see! Anissa

The gift of feedback

This is an old saying, but worth repeating. Feedback is a gift.

How many gifts have you given lately? I hope that you are providing much feedback to others, as it is one of the best avenues to share both positive and constructive perspectives from which a person can grow and develop.

I believe giving feedback is one of the most valuable things a person can do for another, especially in an organizational setting.  It is also one of the least practiced, promoted or executed tasks that professionals undertake.  Why is that? Well, if you ever want to read my graduate thesis on this, let me know .  I explored this in 2005 and now, almost five years later, little seems to have changed in the workplace.

The second part of this gift is using the gift.  One must first receive the gift of feedback and then received needs to then take action. This is also sometimes a missing component. Coaching from your manager, or from an external coach like myself, can help you to take that information and create a plan of action for sustained development.

If you are invested in the success and growth in your organization and the people in it, share some feedback today. Then, take the next step and follow-up on the feedback through coaching.

If you would like some assistance with crafting your strategy or learning effective and painless ways to do this, give me a call. Go forth and give! Anissa

Bad Managers

With the dearth of research, leadership books, conferences, training programs, articles and blogs dedicated to this topic, it astounds me that there are still bad managers in people-manager positions or members of senior leadership.  Just astounds me.

My belief, heart and soul belong to whomever I work with and who works with me.  I am a true servant leader to the core and felt like Robert Greenleaf’s book was my salvation.  My style of leading is recognized, is valued, and has value in the workplace.  Believe me, there have been many a boss who thought my style was frivolous, foolhardy, too lighthearted and fluffy; despite my team’s results, successes and productivity.

What I do not understand is how some managers get into a position in which they are responsible for the growth and development of people who clearly have NO people skills.  This is extremely detrimental to each team member’s career, but is also a loss for the organization.  These team members become more disengaged, distrustful, demoralized, demotivated and disgruntled.  This greatly reduces creativity, morale, effectiveness, concentration and focus.

Why? Why? Why don’t executives see the extensive cost of a bad manager and take action? This question has plagued me in many an organization I have worked or been a part.  How can you tell if you are in the presence of a bad manager, or might be one yourself?

• Address the masses, never the individual
• Email negative news
• Yell in a meeting and ‘dress down’ others in public
• Send an invitation at the end of the week for a meeting the following Monday at 8am, with no description of why.  Why not just hand them the pink slip now instead of ruining their weekend with worry and fear?
• Having a team meeting late in the day on Friday in which the manager berates the team for bad outcomes, unsuccessful goal attainment, etc.
• Manage via their desk, blackberry, email or voice mail; never in person
• Provide feedback rarely, if at all
• Figuratively smack a team member’s hand for doing something you don’t want them to, but you never shared your expectations so they had no way of knowing
• If you share feedback with a team member, you add “we all do it” afterwards, leading your team member to wonder if this is an issue of concern or not
• Your team seems actually disappointed when you show up for work on a day you had planned to be out.  In fact, they are disappointed and count any day you are not in as a vacation – for themselves. A vacation from fear, ambiguity, confusion, frustration, and workplace depression.

Does this describe someone you work for? Or know? Does this describe you?  This condition can be altered. The workplace doesn’t have to be like this!  It is possible to love your job, the organization you work for, and your colleagues.  How do I know? Because I love mine.

Fears as a driving force

The greatest quote ever uttered about fear is by FDR in which he stated “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”  It wasn’t until recently that I really processed what that meant for me.  I used to be fearful not only of the specific event or situation, but also of the feelings themselves.

But lately, I believe fear to be a huge motivator.  As soon as I feel fearful, I realize this means that I am in a bit of uncharted territory and I don’t necessarily know the outcomes or consequence of what will happen next. This is a good thing!  It means I am developing a new path or new learning.  It has really helped me to push forth and do more on behalf of myself instead of giving into the fear.

Maybe this is just an extension of Eleanor Roosevelt’s statement to “do one thing every day that scares you” but how often does any of us even do that?  Well for me, I have been living out of my comfort zone more than ever lately and it has been paying off handsomely in terms of happiness, peace and contentment.  And isn’t that what we are all striving for more of in our lives?

Underled Companies?

I read an interesting phrase in Kouzes and Posner’s book, Encouraging the Heart.  The phrase they used was underled companies.  It was in reference to a story they were sharing in which an organizational leader believed there were “no poor-quality workers, only underled companies”.

This really strikes me as fascinating. First, it is very true and very appropriate in some American companies.  Second, it goes to the heart of my beliefs, which is that people matter.  Each one of us makes a difference within an organization and our collective output creates the success from which the company continues to grow. Lastly, it speaks to the other aspect near and dear to my heart, which is servant leadership.  If you are a true leader, you care about everyone you work with, you want to see everyone succeed, and you believe in encouraging, celebrating and appreciating every single person.  But ultimately, if you are any kind of leader, then an underled organization won’t exist.

Think about this for a second. Does any of this sound like your immediate manager? Does any of this sound like your last manager?  Does any of this sound like the company culture you work within?  For some, they can answer yes to these questions and feel very fulfilled within their careers.

There are some that cannot say yes to these questions. To these persons, I say, please contact me!  I will infuse you with encouragement, support, energy, and vitality toward your goals and desires because my entire character is built on this belief. It is genuinely who I am and is not something I have to work toward; it’s just me.

UPDATE:  In the August 17th, 2009 Business Week edition, Henry Mintzberg wrote an article titled “We’re Overled and Undermanaged.”  He asserts that there are “too many leaders who are detached from the messy process of managing.”  Hallelujah.  It’s been said, in a magazine read by millions, with an online readership as well. Who’s listening? Since many in higher positions don’t read all the research and don’t bother to listen when they do read the leadership books they say they are reading, maybe this will open their eyes a bit for a little self examination.  I love his point about downsizing: “decreeing the firing of thousands while ignoring the effect on morale.  A robust company is not a collection of leftover ‘human resources’.  It’s a community of engaged human beings.” He asks how these person suddenly become redundant, not needed, and therefore, discardable?

Just another voice in the fray, talking to the masses of managers and leaders. Will organizations heed the warnings?

Why employees want to leave or are leaving their companies ….

There are actually a ton of reasons, but here are the top reasons why I believe each of us has contemplated leaving our 9 to 5 job or have already left:

1. Job (or the company culture) turned out to be nothing like what you expected
2. The job you applied and were hired for is not the same job you are doing now, months later
3. There is little feedback provided (constructive or otherwise) and no coaching or development
4. You don’t feel appreciated, respected, recognized, or valued
5. Lack of upward mobility
6. There is little harmony between your personal and professional life
7. You have lost faith and trust in executive leaders
8. The communication is almost non-existent

Does any of this sound like you?  It has sounded like me in prior corporate jobs.  I know of one organization that interviews folks for a manager facing role and then when the offer is provided, it is actually for an associate manager role with significantly less pay and accounts. The bait and switch tactics of organizations are legendary but I think they go a long way in tarnishing the brand of that organization.  Have you experienced anything like this?

Remembering 9/11

Today is the anniversary of the horrific and tragic events that occurred eight years. Can you believe it has been that long?  To others, it may feel like it was yesterday. I can still remember where I was when I heard the news and how it unfolded that day. I don’t think I moved from my seat at work the entire day.  They brought a tv over to the area in which I sat and soon, we were surrounded by folks watching the events and learning as the world learned what happened.

I am still shocked that such a situation could have even occurred and the many lives this tragedy affected.  My love and prayers go to every single person that was personally touched by this, but also to the entire country that watched and lived this as well.  We came together as a country and united as one. I hope we can regain that feeling once again, but not based on circumstances like that.

Today, I say a special prayer in honor of 9/11. A day we should not remember just annually, but always.

Interviewing conundrum

Have you ever been in this situation?  You are part of an interview team. You are interviewing 5-10 candidates for a job.  You meet the person, welcome them in, set the stage for the next 30 minutes or an hour, and after 5 minutes, you just know they are not a good fit for the job or the company.  All you keep thinking is “why are we wasting our time? why are we wasting his?”  But you go through with the charade, finally end the interview, and tell them you will get back to them, which you do but it’s not with an offer.

Have you ever been on the receiving end of that situation except you are thinking “I don’t want to work with these people at all. They aren’t what I expected in a company.”  You want out of the interview but have to push on. You don’t want them to call you and you certainly don’t want to call them.  You want things to end. Now.

I have actually only once walked out of an interview.  The one guy was pleasant enough but his boss made it perfectly clear he was not to talk. The boss was a jerk who interrupted my answers. He also kept pitching the company to me like I was going to buy their product. I finally asked what they were looking for in the role and how I fit into their plans as a candidate. They had no answer so the boss guy started pitching me again. I asked him why he was trying to sell me the product?  He said I was defensive and uncooperative. I said goodbye.

I like the idea of speed interviewing, a take on the idea of speed dating.  You interview a number of likely candidates, invite them to interview in a 5-minute timeframe, ensure they understand the time-limit, and then interview. In one hours, you could interview 12 people. Then those you like and who fit the job profile, you invite back to do things that candidates usually hate me for – performing.  For example, if you are hiring a trainer, they come in and do a mini-training to me and some other folks in the company who can then give me their feedback as a future recipient of this person’s training.  External candidates have usually hated this about me and think I am too demanding, especially internal candidates who are trying to join my team.  But when I hear someone like Seth advocating for this method, I don’t feel like I am too far off the mark.

I wrote a post about this once for Talent Buzz and seriously think they should have an exit interview at the end of the hiring process. Just a quick like 10 question survey for companies to understand if their interviewing/hiring process is working or not and if it is affecting their brand. So, I wonder, what have you done to shake up your hiring process that you would like to share?

Competitive Advantages in the Workplace

We have heard of many ways to be competitive in the workplace, across geographic boundaries, while the economy recovers (or starts to).  There are many answers to this question of how to remain competitive in a tough market but the answers organizations give are not always the best ones. Let’s explore one.

It has been said by Global HR Chief of Stryker, Michael W. Rude that “any kind of layoff is a sign of mismanagement” in the August 24th and 31st issue of Business Week.  Interesting theory and one I agree with. If the only way out of your financial quandary is to layoff of your people, how does that fit into your “people are our greatest asset theme” that is often touted by organizations? Seems incongruent to me.

Why don’t you follow Rude’s approach and allocate persons to other divisions or to more creative endeavors?  Why not use this time to help those divisions that are soaring?  Why not consider streamlining processes and procedures through Kaizen?  There is much waste in organizations and here is an opportunity to improve how things are done.

Why not look at this as an opportunity to share your goals, your expectations?  HR’s head at J.C. Penny, Michael T. Theilman, believes you “have to tell people ahead of time what you are going to do and not going to do.”  By giving employees the full picture, continually sharing information with them, they are not lost in ambiguity or hearsay, they are clear-minded and therefore, able to focus on their jobs and most especially, the customers.  This has resulted in J.C. Penny’s greater employee engagement, by over 80%. Per the article, their earnings per share growth is 5x the industry average and has been for the past 5 years.  Wouldn’t you like to say the same?

How many employees leave their bosses and not their company? Well, research has borne this concept out repeatedly.  Employees are very dissatisfied with their immediate bosses and when choosing to leave, it has little to do with money, benefits, or organization mission. It has to do with a boss who doesn’t communicate, doesn’t give feedback, doesn’t appreciate, doesn’t value, and overall, is absent as a leader.  Douglas R. Conant, Chief Executive at Campbell’s Soup, learned what a negative and pessimistic culture he had taken over, which had the lowest scores of engagement of any company Gallup surveyed.  When Conant learned of employee complaints about how “broken” the company was, he actually listened.  He replaced approximately 350 leaders who weren’t working in alignment with his vision of being employee-centric and who saw the damage these leaders were doing to the very people he depended on for growth and long-term success – his employees.  Their engagement scores are now among the highest of any company Gallup measures.

So what is your point Anissa? My point is having an engaged workforce equates to productivity which equates to greater profitability and ultimately, is your competitive advantage in an economy that is a bit tough to navigate right now. Why not focus on your employees and their knowledge and talents? It’s why you hired them right?  Well, it’s time to turn that into action and results.  Give it a shot. Listen to them. Really listen. Then make changes based on the feedback. Real changes, not reductions in force.  Engage your team.  Create a culture of energy, positivism and optimism. What have you got to lose?

Can you have fun while at work?

There seems to be two camps in the workplace, from I have witnessed over the years. There is the kind of organization that works and works very hard. It’s a culture in which people one up each other on how much they work each day, for the week, or over the weekend. The culture is such that employees feel it necessary to be at work before those they are trying to impress and staying later than those same people. They feel it’s a badge of honor that they have worked 100 hours a week and have little home life.

The other kind of organizations believes in hard work as well. But they also recognize the value of fun, enjoyment and positivity in the workplace.  You hear laughter throughout the organization. You see many smiles and it seems like everyone is helping each other.  You also see camaraderie among everyone.  People know each other’s names and often times, spend time outside of work together.

Which environment do you work and company culture do you identify per the above?  I am very lucky that I have a job that I not only love to do, but I have fun while I am there.  I work with a team that I like but also enjoy being around day in and day out.  I feel very lucky to have a job and an organization that I love to be a part of every day.  And yes, I laugh quite a bit.  Just ask the people I work with how often they hear me!  I hope you can say the same too!

Leadership – the question or the answer?

I read this post today by All Things Workplace and found his factoids interesting:

• 101 times a day there is an internet search for the phrase Leadership Qualities.

• 107 times a day: What is Leadership?

• 160 times a day: Training Leadership.
  

• 229 searches a day for Leadership Development.
  

• 289 times a day: Leadership Styles.

• 1591/day: Leadership.

How much do you think about Leadership?

Do you think about it relation to yourself and if you are a good leader?

Do you think about it more in relation to your boss and how his/her leadership affects you?

Do you think about President Obama’s leadership?

Or maybe you think about in terms of your kids – their teachers, Principal, the bus driver?

Leadership is a never ending quest of reflection, learning, practice, and feedback. If it’s an assortment of these things, and more, how do you know what leadership means to you?  How do you know if you are being an effective leader? How do help others become effective leaders? Do you have a definition of what effective leadership means to you and how you measure it within others?

The questions are not the only step. It’s having the answers as well.  Or the curiosity to find the answers for yourself. How often do you think about leadership?

The Email Quandary

I have read many bloggers talking about email lately.  Zen Habits discussed the elimination of email all together and has since reduced his email usage quite significantly, but not all together. Productivity 501 shares best practices for email usage. Today, I received an email (!!) from the Thin Pink Line discussing this very same addiction, as they referred to it.

There are some tried and true email rules that are frequently shared in some of these blogger’s posts. Or in articles or magazines. Some of them are: don’t check email when you first get up or get into the office.  Only check email once in the morning and once in the afternoon.  Turn off the new email chime as well as the little envelope that appears in your lower right status bar so that you are not a slave to new mail arriving.

It is interesting that you notice those things that you are actually wondering about within yourself.  I noticed one day in the recent past that I was basically in my work email all day long. I was constantly refreshing and just basically being less than productive because I was allowing myself to become a slave to the emails that I thought might come in, or actually did.  I noticed I did this for most of the day up through dinner. As I was sitting and having dinner, I thought about what I needed to do the next day and realized that I had wasted the day being less than productive on other work I wanted to accomplish. All because I either checked my email constantly or worked from my email all day long.

This is highly inefficient and definitely not the best use of my time.  The following weekend, I promptly turned off my computer and turned off my cell phone. I enjoyed a weekend filled with time, meeting up with friends and luxuriously enjoying their company, and being outside without a care in the world.  I felt like I was on vacation.  My brain didn’t feel taxed and I didn’t feel twitchy because my email was dinging away at me.  It was by far the least technically attached I have been in a while. I highly recommend it.  Maybe you don’t turn off your cell like I did if that is your only telephonic source, but instead you turn off the beeps or vibrations of your email and text.  All I can say is, it was a relief to not be so connected.  Have you changed your email habits lately?

Do you interview like this?

Inside peek at an interview in progress:

Circus Manager:  How long have you been juggling?

Candidate:   Oh, about six years.

Manager:  Can you handle three, four, or five balls?

Candidate:  Yes.

Manager:  Do you work with flaming objects?

Candidate:  Sure.

Manager:  ..knives, axes, open cigar boxes, floppy hats?

Candidate:  I can juggle anything.

Manager:  Do you have a line of funny banter that goes with your juggling?

Candidate:  It’s hilarious.

Manager:  Well, that sounds fine. I guess you’re hired.

Candidate:  Umm… don’t you want to see me juggle?

Manager:  Gee, I never thought of that.

Don’t you think it would essential, and beneficial, for the circus manager to see how the juggler performs?  Would you take his word for it? He’s going to be entertaining a crowd and audience reaction will be immediate. If he’s not a good fit and isn’t an entertainer for you, why would he be in front of a crowd?

How often do you have your candidates demonstrate their skills that are applicable to the job you are hiring?  How do you know they are in expert in RFP’s? Or grant writing? Or instructional design? Or training and facilitating?  Or project management? How do you know?  Many interviews are now utilizing scenario-based and behavioral type questions in interviews, but candidates can make up answers. Yes, I have seen that happen and once they are on the job, it comes to light rather rapidly. Does the manager remove from the role as rapidly, not always.  Candidates can ‘perform’ for the interview based on a quick read of what you are looking for. Yes, as interviewers, many times we tip our hat and let the candidate know just what we are looking for and want to hear.

The above scenario is one I read in a book, Peopleware: Productive Projects and Teams by Tom DeMarco and Timothy Lister.  The authors and I agree on the approach to interviewing candidates.  I have shared this prior, but in many of the places I have worked, I have put candidates through a variety of interviewing scenarios and is usually a 4-part interview process to put them through real scenarios from the job to see their demonstration of skills.  I want to see their resume come to life. Both internal and external candidates go through the same rigorous interview and have often been told (especially by internal candidates) that I am too tough. That is a compliment I will gladly accept.

When you interview, how do you know the person portrayed on paper, their resume, is the person who can do the job? Have you been successful with your current process? Unsuccessful? I would love to hear more.

Following your heart

There are books on this concept of following your gut, but I don’t think a book can really teach you how to listen for your specific signs within.  For me, I can say with absolute certainty that I follow my own beat and that by doing so, it has led to interesting results.  I have heard commentary from others for my odd choices, bold moves and seemingly risky decisions.  However, for me, following my heart has proved to be the right move for me. At least professionally!

The times when things have not worked to my advantage are the exact times when I discounted what my heart was telling me and either thought about the logic of it all or what seemed like the best way to go.  This has never worked for me.  Getting out of my head and truly listening to my heart has provided me great happiness in my life’s choices.  Ultimately, isn’t that what we all want?  I hope you are listening to your heart when decisions need to be made and follow the best path for you!

Creating Your Own Competitive Advantage

HR departments focus on performance improvement and employee engagement to create competitive advantages for their organization. For those of you who are thinking “not my HR department”, you are not alone. If organizations paid attention to a 2004 Gallup survey, low productivity by a disengaged worker is incredibly costly ($300 billion a year costly).  As an employee, if you are engaged, you assure innovation, growth, and productivity within your department and organization. The challenge to this is how you define engagement – is it in terms of satisfaction with your work or is it how you connect to the company, your co-workers, and your customers?

However you define it, it helps to ensure that you feel that way.  Are you engaged with your company? Your work? Your coworkers? Your immediate supervisor?  If you are not, it’s to consider what will.  By determining what uplifts, energizes, and engages you in the workplace (and what doesn’t), you will gain a competitive advantage in any role or company by being aware, in charge, and moving forward with your career.  Isn’t that what we all want for ourselves? I know it’s made all the difference in my professional fulfillment!  Anissa

Are you a corporate casualty?

Would you like to give voice to your corporate impressions?  Can you distinguish between a bad day, a bad boss, or the wrong job?  Would you like to?  Take this quick quiz and see how you fare.

Were the results what you expected? Did they shock you?  How do you feel about your place in your organization and in your career? It would be interesting to see how we compared.

Label makers

I recently attended a conference where the dominant part of the conversation was about behavior typing.  For me, I see this largely as labeling people. I say this because before the end of the first day was over, everyone in the room was talking about an X person vs. a Y person vs. a T person.  People no longer had names but instead a label based on their behavior.

I don’t find this kind of learning about people beneficial.  Understanding behavior is a good thing and I do all I can to get my hands on as much as I can to learn more through articles and books.  But classifying people by a label to understand who they are and then defining them in this way leaves little room for growth, change or evolution.

As someone who loves the Gallup Organization’s StrengthsFinder information, it is important to remember that this research is actually measuring your talent themes and not your strengths.  I have had the opportunity to learn about my MBTI (Meyers Briggs), Emergenetics, and DiSC profiles of myself as well as the VIA Inventory of Signature Strengths that is rooted in Positive Psychology.  I have learned more about myself and gained some insights into some of the things I do, while also learning about others. It has expanded my perspective about others, which I think is the strength of each. But the main difference is that these tools are more of a measure of personality than behavior.

Behavior is transient and based on triggers, situation or event, and can be wildly different within a person.  Labeling, or typing, does not aid in the conversation but instead masks the person.

Does your organization use any of these tools?  How do they use them and do you feel they bring value?  I would love to hear it about it. Anissa

Lead someone for a day and create a culture

Grover Wray of Western Union has come up with a new slant on the old expression “feed a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” The new version goes something like this: Lead someone for a day and you have provided direction. Inspire them to lead and you have helped create a culture where leadership is abundant and success abounds.

I love this revision of the expression as it relates to leadership and organizations.  If everyone took it upon themselves to be a leader, to inspire a shared a vision, to model the way, and to encourage the heart (all of which Kouzes and Posner espouse), organizations as a whole would be more productive, successful and effective.

Try it out and see for yourself!  Then, let me know how it goes, Anissa

Catalyze breakthroughs through great questions

This is from the Management Craft blog from Lisa Haneberg. All credit goes to her for the below. I am a big fan of her work, having first learned of her talents through a book via ASTD in 2007 and have been a follower ever since. You can find her blog here.  This post resonated with me greatly being a coach myself. I have found that some questions just really open a person up to many thoughts, reflections and insights. I know it has happened to me personally but have witnessed it many times.  The  below are some great questions that you could ask yourself if you don’t currently have a coach to work with.

20 Great Coaching Questions that can Catalyze Breakthroughs by Lisa Haneberg.

Try them out on YOUR goal this week. And then share them with your team when the opportunity presents itself. Create your own list of 20 killer questions.

What will things look like in a year if everything goes as planned?
What are the consequences of not changing?
Why is this change important?
What do you already know about this approach?
How does this change affect the other aspects of the organization?
What other assumptions could also be valid?
What generalizations have you made?
Why is this situation occurring?
What are the pros and cons of your approach?
How is this similar to or different from the way you have approached this in the past?
Are you seeing the goal as would your peers, employees, customers and managers?
What would you do if time was not an issue?
What if you cleared your calendar today?
What if you are talking to the wrong people?
What if you partnered with someone? Who would he or she be?
What if you need to create a support structure, how might you do this?

What if you asked for exactly what you want? What if you are barking up the wrong tree?
What if the answer is right in front of you?
What can you do to expand your thinking?

Bonus: What would your alter-ego do if she had no fears or apprehensions?

Great coaching is more about questions than answers (that would be advice).

Who packs your parachute?

I just loved this post by Steve Roesler from his All Things Workplace Blog.  It really made me take pause and think.  How often do you think about the person who silently is behind you, making sure you are able to move forward, seamlessly? I know we have all heard the saying “behind every good man, there’s a good woman” (and definitely vice versa) but do we really think about that saying and think about that? Do you think about the contributions another has made for you?  I often think about that sort of thing, but it is more from the perspective of the tangible- that person that I knowingly am working with or who has done something I am aware. But I don’t think about those persons I am unaware, making things work behind the scenes.  And for this, I want to share Steve’s post. All credit to him for the below, including the picture.

Charles Plumb was a Navy pilot. On his seventy-fifth combat mission, he was shot down and parachuted into enemy territory. Plum was captured and spent six years in prison. He survived and now lectures on the lessons he learned from his experiences.

One day Plumb and his wife were in a restaurant and approached by a man who asked, “Are you Plumb the navy pilot?”

“Yes, how did you know?” asked Plumb.

“I packed your parachute,” the man replied.

Plumb was amazed – and grateful: “If the chute you packed hadn’t worked I wouldn’t be here today…”

Plumb refers to this in his lectures: he realized that the anonymous sailors who packed the parachutes held the pilots’ lives in their hands, and yet the pilots never gave these sailors a second thought; never even said ‘hello’, let alone said ‘thanks’.

Now Plumb asks his audiences, “Who packs your parachutes?….. Who helps you through your life?…. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually? . . .

Who packs your parachute?  At work and at home, thank them today.

Do you think about you?

I know that is an odd question, but consider it for a second. Do you ever consider your responsibility in situations? Do you ever wonder what part you had in a disagreement or challenging situation?  Do you often blame others and think they didn’t understand, or they were close-minded, or they just weren’t listening? Did you stop and wonder those same things about yourself?

This can be a dangerous thing to consider as the opposite end would be always looking at yourself as the one to blame. I definitely am not advocating this. I have a strong belief that it takes at least two people in every situation for things to go well, or not.  What I have come to learn over the years is that it helps me to examine my share of what happened, both good and bad, so I can either replicate the good or change the bad.  Do you ever do that?

I am a big fan of the blog Leading Blog:  A Leadership Blog @ Leadership Now. Can you tell I enjoy reading other leadership-related blogs?! They aren’t the only blogs I read, as I do read quite a few, but for this particular one I write, they are very applicable.  They recently had a post that I thought would help to illustrate some of what I have been saying above. The credit for everything below goes to Michael McKinney who posted the below  (including the graphic) and originated with Leading Blog: A Leadership Blog @ Leadership Now.

12 Keys to Greater Self-Awareness

There is no evidence to suggest that any species of animals other than humans come pre-packaged with a set of mechanisms for self-awareness. The degree to which we develop and use that capacity, in a constructive way, will largely determine our success in life.

Self-awareness is where leadership development begins. Self-management and authenticity flow from self-awareness. Self-awareness can be divided into four parts: what is known to us and others, what is known to others but not by us, what we know and others don’t and what we don’t know and others don’t either. Plumbing the depths of self-awareness takes time and more intensive tactics. However, our biggest gain in self-improvement can be had by finding out what others know that we don’t. And they know more than we think.

Here are twelve keys to greater self-awareness:

1. Stop blaming others for your choices. It’s you.
2. Take a personality assessment to help you gain some perspective.
3. Get feedback from as many significant people in your life as you can. This can be uncomfortable for both you and them, but it is the fastest method for gaining a better picture of yourself. (Make them feel safe. It’s a big, unknown risk for them!)
4. Get a coach or mentor. They don’t have to know more than you. They just have to see you in action and help you to be a better you. You’re not as hard to figure out (complicated) as you would like to think.
5. Understand that your biggest irritations look a lot like you.
6. Look beneath your behavior to reveal your assumptions and filters. They dictate how you see yourself and others and impact how you relate to them.
7. Look at your roadblocks. Learn to separate facts from your interpretations of them.
8. A lot of negative interactions signal a selfish approach to life.
9. Reflect daily on your behavior. Ask questions like: How do I handle difficulties? What do I think or do when I don’t get my own way? How adaptive am I? Can I control my emotions? Do I tend to say what I’m thinking when I’m thinking it? Do I judge other people and create conflict? How do others relate to me?
10. Organize your thoughts in a journal. It is one of the best ways to capture what is going on around you and inside you. Make a note of the causal remarks people make about you.
11. Read books and go to seminars that help you rethink your assumptions and address your problem areas and blind spots.
12. Words mean a lot. Your language reflects your thinking and attitudes.

Your thinking and the behavior that flows from that has brought you to where you are now. You are in control of developing the thinking and behavior that will take you where you want to go. Self–awareness is difficult. We don’t always like to admit things about ourselves because we don’t like the guilt associated with not doing what we know we should. But admit we must if we are to grow. Ask yourself, “In light of where I come from, what do I need to know about myself?”

Warren Bennis wrote, “It is one of the paradoxes of life that good leaders rise to the top in spite of their weaknesses, while bad leaders rise because of their weakness….We are our own raw material. Only when we know what we are made of and what we want to make of it can we begin our lives—and we must do it despite an unwitting conspiracy of people and events against us.” It is a lifelong and rewarding journey.

Are you sabotaging your career?

I don’t know about you, but early in my career, I thought it was all about the work you do, and wasn’t necessarily as concerned about the reputation I presented, or my personal brand as we refer to it today.  I have since learned that how to make a more positive impression and elicit more cooperation from others by being less dogmatic, opinionated, hard-headed, and dominant.  Yes, I can still be this way, but I have learned how to partner, collaborate and share more than ever; with more accomplishments and happiness to show for it!

Some early career mistakes — such as believing or over overemphasizing technical proficiency at the expense of strategy or people while assuming one has already learned everything needed to get ahead at work — are just some of the many ways in which people unwittingly sabotage their career success. While we can all rebound from this, others may not be so lucky.

Some helpful hints:

1. Know Yourself – be self aware
2. Accept Criticism – you can accept it, reject it or ignore it after
3. Keep Learning – for life
4. Speak Up – no wallflowers here
5. Move on – get out if need be

If you would like my support in enjoying your career, removing sabotaging behaviors, and finding more satisfaction in your workplace, let me know! Anissa

 

Beat Back the Pressure and Renew Your Energy

Leaders who live with power stress — chronic, intense pressure resulting from responsibilities, crises and demands — can easily slip into what is known as “the sacrifice syndrome.” Simply put, we burn up, burn out, and lose our effectiveness.

We know from neuroscience and psychology that when people experience chronic stress, cognitive functioning is diminished and we get sick more often. We lose sight of the big picture and make bad decisions. Our self-awareness dwindles, empathy is in short supply, and self management is compromised. We lose the emotional and social competencies that enable us to be successful leaders.

Paradoxically, the best leaders are most susceptible to the sacrifice syndrome. Why? Because we take our responsibilities seriously. We care. We strive. We try harder. What about you? Are you a bit on the edge, ready to slip into behaviors you know won’t work?

There is plenty that you can do about it. But first, you have to get over the fantasy that a nice summer vacation is going to fix everything. It isn’t. You are walking back into the 24/7 environment. The same pressures are there. They’re not going away.

Next: admit it. You aren’t a superhero and you never will be. Sure, you’re strong, resilient and clever. Good. Capitalize on these gifts. But you need to do more. You need to interrupt the sacrifice syndrome with real renewal. You have to build regular practices into daily life that spark psychological and physical renewal. It’s as important as eating, sleeping and breathing. Here’s how to start:

1. Listen to life’s quiet wake-up calls. Perhaps your wake-up calls aren’t as dramatic as some I’ve seen–the broken marriages, plateaued careers. But maybe you don’t laugh as much as you used to, you’ve quit going to the gym or don’t do things you enjoy most. Listen! Make course adjustments now.

2. Practice mindfulness. Pay attention to your mind, body, heart and spirit. This doesn’t happen by accident. Most of us need to develop and then practice the art of reflection. Try finding a few minutes of quiet time alone each day, even if it’s just five minutes before getting up in the morning, walking from the train to work, or a quiet moment in the park.

3. Find hope. Hope is a powerful force. On a neurological level, it actually helps us to counter the negative effects of life’s pressures and burdens. Hope–an image of a positive and feasible future–inspires us to dig deep down, to find the strength to move in the direction of our dreams. So imagine your life in ten years: what will you be doing? Who’s sharing your life? What will capture your passion?

4. Practice Compassion. Focus on the needs and desires of the people around you. Act on what you see–do something to support others achieving their goals. Make someone’s day better. Like hope, compassion engages positive emotions, which in turn engage renewal.

Change starts with you. And when linked to a meaningful outcome, change can be exciting and fun. Start small. Start today. But start. It will be worth it!! Anissa

adapted from http://conversationstarter.hbsp.com/2008/09/four_steps_to_beat_back_the_pr.html?cm_mmc=npv-_-WEEKLY_HOTLIST-_-SEPT_2008-_-HOTLIST0904

Take the Call

“A calling is a deep sense that your very being is implicated in what you do. You feel that you fit into the scheme of things when you do this particular work.  You have a sense of purpose and completion in the work. It defines you and give you an essential tranquility.  The work that provides such a deep reward may change over time, and you may go through several periods in your life defined by different work. Toward the end of your life you may see all the jobs you have done as fateful, composing your life work and answering your calling.”

Thomas Moore in A Life at Work: The Joy of Discovering What You Were Born to Do

Lazy or Smart?

I came across this quote the other day “Doing less meaningless work is not laziness, but smart.”  I started thinking about that a bit.  Over the past year and a half, I have done a much better job of not “should-ing” on myself.  You know, that wonderful habit of saying to yourself, I should go do the laundry, clean my desk, vacuum, clean out my closets, etc.  All of these tasks are legitimate but are they tasks that you think you should do, or need to do?  Well, I have gotten much better about distinguishing my should’s and acting accordingly.  But as I read that quote, it kept running around in my head.  Lately, I have felt like I have been lazy about some things.  Now I realize that some of the things that I was choosing not to do aren’t relevent or meaningful to me, which is why I wasn’t doing them.  Of course, I always wonder if the procrastination bug has hit me, since one of the chief reasons why I procrastinate is to avoid the undesirable.But as the cleaning bug has gotten ahold of me (this is how I reflect, process and really think), I realize that I was being smart with my time, my choices and my life.

How are you doing in your daily choices?  Are you telling yourself that you should do this or that? Or are you being smart and only doing those things that are meaningful for you?

We do actually want change

Do you notice that there is a disconnect between what you and your peers see, hear, and think — and what’s really going on in the company? If so, you’ll find it virtually impossible to convince your boss or other senior leaders that the organization must change to neutralize a serious challenge, such as growing dissatisfaction among key customers or employee disengagement.  Why? Because the full story isn’t readily apparent or visible.  We have seen this recently with some of the big boys on Wall Street.  Executives were and are getting large sums of money, while others are being laid off by the 1,000′s.  Do what you can to make this disconnect as transparent possible with open dialogue with your immediate management team. It can only help you!

Happy New Year

Happy New Year from The Coaching Connection!

I hope you take a moment to reflect on 2009 and where you would like to head in 2010.  Anything is within your grasp if you choose to move forward.  All you need is within you.  Best wishes for a happy, healthy, and heartfelt new year. Anissa

Toxic Boss?

In these ultra-stressful times, toxic bosses are on the rise. Whether screamers or never-satisfied micromanagers, they can poison entire organizations, because toxic emotions are contagious. When our toxic boss goes on a rampage, we become anxious, negative, and destructive. We then spread dissonance to the people looking to us for inspiration and guidance.

To stop the madness, don’t take your toxic boss’s attacks personally. Remind yourself that his anger, meanness, or cynicism is about him, not you. And check your (natural) desire to sabotage his work or otherwise get revenge. If you give in to such urges, you’ll perpetuate the problem. Instead, tap into your personal power and resilience — you know your talent and your value, so focus on delivering work that makes you proud.

As a colleague once said to me, cream always rises to the top. And you are the cream!

How do you feel?

Almost half of U.S. workers do not respect their boss and only half believe they are competent, according to an online survey.

The study by Randstad USA, a unit of the world’s number two staffing company Randstad NV, found that the growing financial crisis has seen companies focusing more on their bottom line at the expense of relations with employees.

“Employees’ professional development and morale should always be a priority for employers and especially in an economic slowdown when employees may feel additional burdens,” said Randstad director Eric Buntin.

The Internet survey of 2,337 people also found only 43 percent think their boss is open to new ideas and only 47 percent were willing to work overtime to impress their boss and create more job security for themselves.

Less than 30 percent believed their bosses were fulfilling their roles as motivators, role models or mentors.

“When it comes to impressing the boss to create more job security during hard times of economic uncertainty, the survey indicates women are willing to work harder,” Buntin said. “A healthy employee-employer relationship greatly contributes to an overall positive workplace attitude.”

The survey was carried out by Harris Interactive. Data was weighted to be representative of the total U.S. population based on region, age within gender, education, household, income, and race.

If you need additional support and motivation during your professional transitions, let me know.

I’d be happy to partner with you! Anissa

Radiate Optimism

Few of us can do much about the economic crisis we’re living through, but you can improve your employees’ emotional health and their performance. A groundbreaking study by researchers at Harvard and the University of California, San Diego showed that happiness is contagious — even among strangers, friends-of-friends, and coworkers. As a manager you can use this knowledge to boost your team’s morale, productivity, and engagement.

Carefully cultivate a positive outlook. Then use it to cheer up your team. Help people look on the bright side when possible — not naively, but resolutely. But choose your moments carefully. Don’t radiate optimism when layoffs are announced or poor earnings reports are published. Do it when you think people need an extra boost, and when you think they’ll be receptive.

As someone with positivity in her top 5 of Gallup Strengths and a certified Happy-ologist, I believe that radiating optimism is a worthwhile state of being.  Give it a try!

Today’s Management Tip was adapted from “Why You Need to Be a Happier Manager,” posted on December 8, 2008, by John Baldoni on “Leadership at Work.”

Helping your employees create a harmonious life

The last thing your company needs in this downturn is to lose its star performers to a competing company. And one reason some valued employees defect is that their managers don’t support work/life balance (or as I prefer to say, a harmonious life).  It’s a well-known fact that employees don’t leave companies, they leave their manager.

How can you help your firm retain its top talent?

Show your employees that you care about work/life balance, too — with these actions:

• Provide emotional support, by acknowledging employees’ sometimes extensive responsibilities outside work.
• Provide structural support, by working with employees to resolve scheduling conflicts.
• Model healthy behavior — for example, by occasionally attending important family functions during work hours yourself.
• Partner with other managers to develop cross-department training initiatives that enable employees to cover for one another as needed if they must take time away from work.

Being openly communicative, a role model in living your own harmonious life and understanding the many pressures we all face, you will make lasting strides in your relationships on your team!

Today’s Management Tip was excerpted from “Supervisor Work/Life Training Gets Results,” by Ellen Ernst Kossek and Leslie B. Hammer, Harvard Business Review Forethought, November 2008.

Recession-Proof Yourself

Start by not taking your job lightly. Employees have long had the upper hand in organizations. They’ve been naming their hours, salary, and title. During a recession, your boss is in the driver’s seat, and you’ll have to reapply for your job every day.

How? Pay attention to things that tick him or her off, such as showing up late, calling in sick, or doing shoddy work.

Each day, focus on what you’re giving, not what you’re getting. And do the opposite of what others are doing.

When your coworkers are dragging, hustle.

When everyone’s complaining, smile like you’ve just found the Hope Diamond.

Be stronger, tougher, and more positive, and you’ll stand out above the crowd.

This is a great strategy now, and always!

Today’s Management Tip was adapted from “Recession-Proof Yourself: Four Tips for Twentysomethings,” posted on November 11, 2008, on Marshall Goldsmith’s “Ask the Coach.”

Coaching is ..

Athletes have coaches. It is a partnership for greater growth, experience, and enhancement of skills. As a professional, shouldn’t you have the same opportunity?

Leadership coaching is simply about helping to bring about behavioral change (what and how people say and do things), giving you an opportunity to work with someone who supports and challenges you to greater heights, and is objective to your needs and aspirations. 

Don’t you deserve this?

Are you coachable?

If you think you are impervious with no issues, challenges, or areas of opportunity, you are not likely to be coachable.  This is your belief and it is not one another person can change. 

To me, a reflective leader, one who understands that they are never perfect, that a leader is ever-evolving and learning, is coachable.  A reflective leader is vulnerable and hears the feedback of others, wants to make changes, and is open to understanding how to become even more effective for the benefit of those they work.

Which do you think you are?

What kinds of coaching?

For the most part, I believe coaching is about behavioral change. However this can occur in a few areas. First, you may have a desire to focus on your performance. This may mean enhancing behaviors that are working while reducing others that aren’t as effective to the workplace or team. Or it might mean a focus on skills, such as presentation skills, or closing sales calls, negotiation a raise, or conflict resolution.  At times, we all have an area of need.  Or it might mean your focus is more on development of your emotional/touchy feeling side. That side that provides more feedback to your team, gets to know people individually, is more reflective overall about your own leadership.

Are there areas that you have always wanted to spend more time on that your immediate manager hasn’t been able to spend time with you on?  Consider coaching for your own professional advancement.

Coaching expectations

As a manager or leader, coaching is not about answers, advice, or telling someone what to do. It is about questions, deep listening, and understanding the goals of the other, then supporting them as they reach each or all.

As the one being coached, the desire centers more around distinguishing clear goals, any hindrances to these goals, determining ways to overcome the hindrances, continuing to proceed forward with your coach supporting you, challenging you and nudging you to keep moving forward.

The key is building a relationship built on trust and communication.  Most importantly, coaching  is not counseling.  Coaching is about forward progress, not looking back.  Have you identified your professional needs? Are they being met within your organization?

Coach Training

Does a coach need to have had specific training to be a coach?  It depends on the role.  If you are a leader or manager and have responsiblity to others, I think it be of benefit to consider a coaching seminar. ASTD has a fantastic 2-day coaching certificate program I would recommend highly. It takes all of the principles and wraps them up nicely in two days with much practical time with others in group situations. I will also say that I have met many persons internal to an organization who have sought the specific training toward certification. This a choice you can consider.

Yes, coaches have a credentialing body with 3 levels of certification. The International Coaching Federation (ICF) is the mostly widely recognized credentialing body with an associate (ACC), professional (PCC) and master coach (MCC)certification. Each requires extensive educational training with practicums, examination (both written and an actual coaching session) and hours in the field coaching (for example 1500 hours of coaching with clients). 

Therefore, I believe if one is going to deem themselves a coach by title, is their primary job function and most definitely if you own your own business, a coach should be in pursuit of a designation or have one already. Most coaches I know are pursing either the ACC or PCC.  I am currently in the PCC process. I have one more class for my educational component and then will move on to the application and examination process with the ICF. 

I would highly suggest that you ask your coach if they are certified, where they were educated (matters little if you know the organization in which they obtained their training but matters more that they can answer quickly, honestly and can be googled), and if not certified, are they in the process (it takes a long time).  To those coaches that cannot answer these questions, I hope this puts serious doubt in your mind about hiring them.  The Code of Ethics we abide by are substantial and important. I worked for a pharmaceutical company that hired a few coaches and they did not hold confidences, the were not ethical and they created more damage than already existed on the team due to their breaches.  This gives a bad name to coaches, but more than that, it is so very detrimental to the employees who had faith in this process and adds NO value to the organization who finally sought the need for outside help for internal dysfunction. I think the damage is much worse as a result.

I am certainly only one opinion and have believe highly in the educational training, practicums, and examination process. I believe that coaches should be in active pursuit of their credential or have one. FOr this, I will not bend.  Many organizations that hire coaches are almost always asking for their credential and proof from ICF. I liken this to other designations such as PE for engineers, PMP for project managers, PHR/SPHR for human resource professionals.  More and more, organizations are asking for this instead of indicating “preferred”.

What kind of coach would you hire?